WANT MORE, TALK MORE…GET MORE
There are some blog posts I’d prefer to talk about, some I would prefer to write about and others that I’d prefer to video. Today’s blog post topic, SEX, is one that should be interesting no matter how it’s presented……
SEX is something that needs to be discussed openly, particularly if you are in a long-term relationship, as over time one’s needs, desires, or passion may change. The facts speak for themselves. Most heterosexual men prioritise eroticism in the bedroom, while heterosexual women are more likely influenced by their emotions and pragmatic approach (do we share common goals, do we like to do things together, is he smart, is he a family man). By the time she has answered these questions the male’s needs have taken care of themselves.
For me, SEX is like a packet of Allen’s Party Mix. It’s always good, you occasionally crave it, there is a sudden high before adrenal exhaustion and, if you choose, you can share with others.
The key to having a good SEX life is quality communication with your partner and understanding what you are getting into in the first place. Relationships change as do people’s needs. It is important therefore to ensure each party’s physical and emotional needs are acknowledged and understood by the other. Harmony can only be achieved if the pleasure, passion, emotion, physical release, excitement and enjoyment come together. Unfortunately these experiences are few and far between!
Having personally been in a committed relationship for close to a decade, I think it’s important to recognise that as relationships grow and develop, your SEX life matures which may, at times, might have a direct impact on the quality and frequency of your SEXual activity. There are the obvious pressure points like starting a family, having kids and work commitments. However during my research I came across a study called, “Egalitarianism, Housework and Sexual Frequency in Marriage”, which appeared in The American Sociological Review last year. This study went against logic but certainly supported my theory that as a marriage improves by becoming more equal; the sex in these marriages will also improve.
BLOKES, STOP DOING THE DISHES!
The study actually found that when men did certain kinds of chores around the house, couples had less SEX. So where is the TV remote I hear you ask….
A good question, as I think over the last decade or more society has pushed towards levelling the domestic playing field; but at what cost? I am an advocate for ‘progressive marriages’ where each supports the other’s career, passions and hobbies, but the outcome must be a family / relationship orientated end goal, inside and outside the bedroom. Too often ‘progressive marriages’ become tit for tat, which is far from a turn on!
So let’s establish some sexual boundaries and remember we all have needs, some very different to others, but you must be open and honest and communicate your bedroom expectations lights on or off.
What is your relationship blueprint?
Do you support ‘progressive marriages’?