➢ Good, old-fashioned vaginal intercourse is quite common among men aged 18 to 69 with at least 53% (18 to 19 years of age) and up to 86% (25 to 29 years of age) had vaginal intercourse in the past year.
➢ 11% of guys say they use sex to relieve stress.
➢ Scientists have found that women being on top is the most dangerous sex position, resulting in half of all penile fractures.
➢ You help her get a good night’s sleep. University of Pennsylvania researchers claim that women in stable relationships get better shut-eye than single women do.
➢ More than one in three women are having sex at least three times every week. Not quite one in four men (28%) are as lucky.
Now that I have your attention I want to focus on S.E.X and give you strategies to help you improve your own personal management techniques?
X what is your ‘X’ factor
‘S’ is for stress:
Stress is a natural human response to pressure when faced with challenging and sometimes dangerous situations. That pressure is not only about what’s happening around us, but often also about demands we place on ourselves. It’s not always bad, as experiencing stress is part of being alive, stress helps increase our alertness and energy to meet challenging situations, perform at our capacity. However, if stress lasts for a long time or overwhelms our ability to cope, it can have a negative affect on our health, wellbeing, relationships, work and general enjoyment of life.
Nevertheless, it is important to understand that stress doesn’t have to control your life. You can improve your knowledge about stress and increase your resources to become more resilient and then develop strategies and techniques to help you reduce and or eliminate the stress you might be suffering.
How does stress affect us?
Stress is helpful when it increases our ability to be alert, energised, switched on and resourceful in facing challenges we enjoy or have to deal with. However, stress becomes unhelpful when it leaves us feeling fatigued, tense, anxious, burnt out or overwhelmed and unable to gain any mental clarity.
The tipping point between helpful and unhelpful stress is different for each of us and can also depend on what’s happening in our lives.
Stress is unhelpful when we:
• Can’t switch off – feeling alert and anxious even when we want to be resting.
• Can’t cope – even small things get us down, leave us exhausted.
• Withdraw from relationships, work or fun activities or become irritable.
• Have difficulty concentrating.
• Have aches and pains unrelated to exercise or any medical condition.
• Have difficulty eating or sleeping properly.
Sometimes stress builds up and takes on a life of its own – so that we feel anxious, even when not facing difficult situations.
• Be aware – monitor your levels of stress and ask whether they are helpful or getting you down.
• Take stock – think about things in your life or pressures you place on yourself that may be increasing your stress.
• Take charge – deal with unhelpful sources of stress before they build up and become a bigger problem.
• Make choices – look at areas in your life where you could manage your situation better or change the way you respond.
• Learn good techniques to deal with stress.
• Talk to someone you trust, call a friend, phone Lifeline
• Have a health check with your GP
• Get exercise
• Eat a healthy, balanced diet
• Make time for things you enjoy
• Have more SEX
These are ways to help you bounce back and become more resilient. Sometimes, it can help to see a counsellor to identify and discuss stressors in your life and to find ways to cope better, but if you need The Health Bloke, I’m happy to help!
If you are finding it hard to cope then it might to time to address ‘Mindfulness’.
‘Mindfulness’ is a hot topic in Western psychology: increasingly recognised as an effective way to reduce stress, increase self-awareness, enhance emotional intelligence, and effectively handle painful thoughts and feelings.
Although mindfulness has only recently been embraced by Western psychology, it is an ancient practice found in a wide range of Eastern philosophies, including Buddhism, Taoism and Yoga. Mindfulness involves consciously bringing awareness to your here-and-now experience with openness, interest, and receptiveness. Jon Kabat-Zinn, a world authority on the use of mindfulness training in the management of clinical problems, defines it as: “Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”
Mindfulness is about waking up, connecting with ourselves, and appreciating the fullness of each moment of life. Kabat-Zinn calls it, “The art of conscious living.” It is a profound way to enhance psychological and emotional resilience, and increase life satisfaction.
So if you are keen to try a little “mindfulness’ LOG ON and download either of the following APPS to help you reduce the stress in your life and practice the Art of Mindfulness;
* The 7 Days of Calm – learn the basics of mindfulness meditation in our free introductory program
* 7 guided meditation sessions from 2 to 30 minutes – for whenever you need a break from your day
* 10 beautiful, immersive nature scenes – choose the perfect background sounds and scene to help you relax
* 16 blissful music tracks by meditation music master, Kip Mazuy.
* 50 premium guided meditations for focus, creativity, energy, confidence, sleep and much more
*The 21 Days of Calm – deepen your meditation practice with our paid program available only to subscribers
Meditation made simple, learn online, when you want, wherever you are, in just 10 minutes a day. SMILE MORE, SLEEP BETTER, LOVE BETTER
Another great educational video is Andy Puddicombe’s TED TALK,
‘E’ is for exercise:
I do it, I love it and it is part of my lifestyle but so many people struggle with exercise because they simply don’t like it, don’t know what to do, can’t be bothered or don’t have enough perceived time.
The National Exercise Guidelines are 30 minutes a day, 7 days a week. Even as an addicted exerciser myself I would still struggle to commit to 7 days a week. Therefore, I have developed my own personal philosophy that may help you implement some exercise into your lifestyle but you must start TODAY!
Firstly, you must overcome the contemplation stage and start doing some form of exercise that excites you. Once you have identified what this might be you have to look at how you are going to implement it into your lifestyle. Time management is critical, otherwise you will always find something else to do. Many struggle with consistency so you must commit to a regular time slot. Remember, initially we are just looking at creating habits before seeking perfection.
To help you ease the pressure on you I encourage my clients to take the simple approach, “Be better than Average”. If the national standards are, 30 minutes a days, 7 days a week. My formula that I would like you to implement is;
➢ 45 minutes per session,
➢ 4 days per week, for
➢ 45 weeks per year
That is your formula, SIMPLE!
To help you establish your own routine so it becomes a habit you must design a plan that works for you, so consider the following;
➢ Your work / family commitments
➢ Likes / dislikes
➢ Access to gym, park, pool, oval, indoor, outdoor, club, personal trainer etc.
➢ Type of Exercise
Now that you have the key components you must make sure you commit to 4 sessions in your diary each week. Make them NON NEGOTIABLES and stay committed, as consistency is the key.
Once you have the commitment component under control focus on the type, time, and intensity. Sure, something is better than nothing but if you want to create a change, (weight loss, lean muscle, aerobic capacity) you need to provide a physiological overload, or ‘S’ stress. I often tell clients that they wont get any smarter reading the same book everyday and your body reacts the same way. Stress creates adaptation and the adaptation creates the change, so variety and intensity are two key ingredients. You simple don’t go to bed obese and wake up buffed!
Many don’t understand what level of heart rate or intensity is necessary to achieve their individual goals. Generally, when you are trying to improve your fitness (heart health) or lose weight I use a personal perceived exertion scale 0 – 10. 0 = sitting on the couch watching a movie, whereas 10 = lying on the ground gasping for air. The level you want to try and work out for 45 minutes is around 7 / 10, which will correlate close to 70% of your maximum HR.
If you would like to find out more information on the “intensity debate” refer to my webpage, www.torytrewhitt.com.au in the section, TT TALK BACK under the video on “Intensity”.
What is your “X” Factor:
Well, we all have the “X” factor, but how many of us actually think about it, dream about it, visualise it and act upon it?
Personally, I believe it is only those who are completely happy with their personal and professional lifestyles that feel a true connection with their “X” factor. For me, your “X” factor is;
➢ Your passion,
➢ Your purpose,
➢ Your personality
Many of you will be able to relate to a musician, an entertainer or a sports person that you think has the “X” factor but rarely do you think about your own…
So now is the time to close your eyes and visualise what it is that you love doing? The old saying, think big, dream bigger is exactly what I want you to do. Listen to yourself and embrace what it is you see or feel. Harness the feeling (emotion, energy, happiness), grow the feeling and create a burning desire for your “X” factor.
Ask yourself a few questions;
How good does it feel?
What does it look like?
How can you create it?
How can you monetise it?
What would it mean to you to live like / with your “X” factor
What’s stopping you?
Wikipedia defines passion (from the Latin verb patere meaning to suffer) as a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion, a compelling enthusiasm or desire for something.
I want you to create this very strong feeling, this desire and turn it into a super hero. That super hero will become you.
It’s time to take ownership, take control of your future, your direction, and your ambitions. It’s time to live the life you desire and to do this you require one ingredient that is within you, your “X” factor.